Cucumbers foil uranium run

Lithuanian cucumbers, aka 'the police', have apprehended two Belarusians who they believe were trying to smuggle uranium into Belarus.

"An iron box with 'uranium' inscribed on it in Russian was found hidden in their car," a spokescucumber is reported to have said. Such a discovery would make one suspicious. They should have written 'biscuits' on the box. Anyway, the so-called uranium has been sent off to see whether it is in fact uranium.

Anyway - I'm wondering what Belarusians want to do with uranium. They don't have any nuclear power plants (that we know about), and even in Belarus uranium is no longer the item de rigueur for making dentures. So what the hell were they going to do with it? Suggestions welcome.

Nuclear weapons of mass distraction

After our recent post on Miss Atom 2007 (which we incorrectly referred to as 'Miss Nuclear 2007' ... oops!), we note that the number and, erm... quality of contestants has been rapidly increasing*. No wonder those Russians and former-Soviets can't keep their nuclear reactions under control.

Shown here is Olesia Valeriavna Kirianenko (green eyes, blonde hair, problematic swimming costume), who works at the Zaporoshskaja nuclear power-station in the Ukraine. She likes 'everything about dogs' and spends her free time working-out. She is married, and is most happy when her family and friends are happy. Isn't that nice?

To vote for her, or any of the growing number of nuclear bombshells, head over to the Miss Atom 2007 site and do some browsing. Then wait till February 20, when voting will commence. The winner will be the contestant with the most number of votes as at 6pm (Moscow time) on March 6.

* The number of painful puns has also been increasing, but we can't say the same for their quality.

Miss Nuclear 2007

Could this be Miss Nuclear 2007? (Or, as one other In Your Pocket writer has suggested, Miss Nuclear Waist?) Natalia Borisovna Savastianova, 34, works in the Atoms Resources Company, one of Russia's many nuclear operations.

She is just one of the contenders to become Miss Nuclear 2007. All female employees of Russia's nuclear power plants are eligible to enter, but only if they're between 18 and 35 years of age. (So, that rules out all the old babushkas pushing mops about and the 12-year-old who is in charge of the big red button.)

Other interesting beauty pageants from this part of the world include Miss Captivity, in which 'Samanta' was elected Lithuania's most captivating female prison inmate in 2002; Miss Longest Locks, in which Emilija Lepeskaite was deemed to have the most beautiful 132cm-long hair (especially when it was sculpted into elephant ears) in 2006, and the annual election of the Queen of the Cucumbers in the Lithuanian town of Kėdainiai.

Oh - and for those of you whose interest in Natalia is greater than their ability to read Russian, she is interested in music, theatre, fine art and collecting decorative pigs. She likes skiing, tennis and non-extreme tourism. She dreams of bitter chocolate, having a second child and world peace. And she's only slightly radioactive. Probably.